Oh the Joy of Christmas!

Let's just start this post with how my daughter is completely amazing and I am so blessed to learn from her as much as she learns from me. Case in point: she brought home a letter stating that her daycare was doing a last minute Sub for Santa and listed the items and ages of the people in need. She hands me the list and asks "Mom, can we help these people?" I look at the list and see that we in fact can. Well due to my extremely hectic schedule, I had forgotten about the list, and Tuesday was was the last day of daycare before the holiday. Pie had gotten a Bratz doll at my mom's side of the family's Christmas party the night before, and I reminded her about the list. She then said that she wanted to give her Bratz doll to the girl on the list because she already had a lot of dolls, and she was pretty sure she would love it. My heart skipped a beat. My selfless daughter was doing something so generous, loving and what the true meaning of Christmas is all about. So she took the doll to daycare with her and told the director how she had received the doll the night before at a party and wanted to donate it. As this story has been told to many people, not a dry eye was present. My beautiful, thoughtful, amazing daughter is truly my hero.

We had a good Christmas. Pie got a bike that she has been riding around the house on, some clothes and movies. I got a nice leather chair for my computer desk, an awesome shovel, and gift cards to various places so Pie and I can do stuff together.

We are finally done unpacking and are completely settled in at our new place. I have the most amazing neighbors and I never want to leave. Since we have had some bad snow storms, I have come home twice now to my driveway and sidewalks plowed, and I have never been so grateful or appreciative. I have no idea who keeps doing it, since it seems as though all the neighbors have shovels.... seems as though I need to do some baking and go on a quest to deliver them to the people who I think it may be.

Pie's birthday is on Wednesday and she will be the big number 5! Can you believe it? Time truly does fly when you are having fun- and we've had some wonderful heartfelt times together. She will start Kindergarten in 9 months and that completely freaks me out. My baby is growing up so fast. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and even though I sometimes wish the situation were different, I would NEVER change a thing. We are strong and independent. I will be taking that day off to spend with her and we have a fun filled, action packed day all planned out and she is ecstatic. Life is good.

Snow, parties, and extra ramblings

Oh it snowed yesterday. Finally we got snow that actually stuck, made a mess of the roads because people don't friggin know how to drive, and didn't damper Pie's party.

Her birthday party went off without a hitch and everyone had a blast! I even got in the fun with the kids and played till we were all tired and very sweaty. Only 2 kids didn't show up, (one mom called 15 min before the party to say her kid had the 'sniffles' and was keeping her home, whatever) which was fine cause some brothers of the kids invited got to play in their place, so there was room for everyone. Pie got some good gifts as well as some that mom thought wt.... gifts, but she doesn't know the difference so you just go with it.

Two hours after her party she had another birthday party to go to at a Dimple Dell Rec Center- a swimming party. I have never been there and I was impressed. The indoor swim area was a lot like Cottonwood Heights Rec Center and all the kids had so much fun. They had a lazy river and I made Pie wear a life vest and she went around that thing about 20 times. She was the only kid in a bikini and got tons of compliments on it. We got home at about 8:30pm and Pie decided to strew her presents on the floor and play until 11pm when she said she was tired and was snoring 5 minutes later.

We will be making a cake today since she got some baking items yesterday and wants to try them out, we will also be making a run to Costco to return some items and leave at least $100 lighter then when we went in, and a trip to the ever popular WalMart to return the full screen version of The Dark Knight my mom bought and get salt for the driveway. Fun times let me tell you!

Oh Happy Days!

Monday I got the call I had been waiting for for quite some time. My car had arrived! Jumping jelly beans I was never so excited to hear from the dealership that royally screwed me over. There are so many things I love about the car it's awesome! Except for some bitch in the parking lot decided to try and back up right into me today, full on knowing I was there cause I watched her cell phone talking ass walk from the store to her car. She got the evil eye and the third finger thrown in her direction.

Pie and I are 95% moved in to our new place- yay! We will be moving the remainder of our stuff tomorrow and boy, I am excited to move out. Pie has a little friend next door and they are so excited to have each other so close to play with. This will be a good move for us, and I am thankful for the opportunity that has been given to me to make this all happen.

I finalized Pie's birthday party this year, which will be in 2 weeks at a new place in town. Her invite list went from 12 to 19 very fast! I'm hoping that because I'm doing her party so early before the holidays that the kids will actually show up. Last year she had a small gathering at the house with 4 kids from the church and it went well, so I'm hoping she will enjoy this years party. If anyone wants to come, let me know and I'll give you the details.

Work has been good, still getting used to the schedule, long hours, lots of data, but I'm definitely not missing talking to angry owners. I've been working a lot on our Christmas, New Year's and even some Sundance bookings, and research on the Park City area for my boss and regional manager. Things will get better, I know it. I'm only 3 weeks into it and still have a lot to learn, so I can't get too overwhelmed yet. I've been venturing out during my lunch hour to walk Main Street, and it has been quite interesting. My new favorite place to eat is called the Clockwork Cafe. It's literally 3 min from work and they have the best food at reasonable prices that Jen can afford. Some of the stores have not opened yet, but I will hit those up soon.

Halloween vacation is booked for next year in Disneyland, so Pie is super excited, and my cousin in Phoenix might join us with her fiance and soon to be step son, which will be too much fun. Us girls know how to have a good time!

Survivor

So I have now survived my first week at my new job and I absolutely love it! I am so glad I got the job and I know it was the right thing for me. I have joined the vanpool, so it's nice not driving up Parley's everyday. Days are long- I now work 8-5 Monday through Friday instead of 7-3:30 M-F, which isn't too bad but I am completely exhausted when I get home. Very long days. Things I love about this job: freedom, more responsibility, trust, confidence, not being yelled at, respect, and for the mere fact that this is what I want to do, and have been wanting to do this for some time now.

Since my office is on Main Street, I have ventured out a few times and so far, I like what I see. It is so close to shopping, restaurants, and who can forget about Sundance. Maybe I wont leave the resort for the whole time, so I can rub elbows with the famous. Who knows, maybe by the end of it, I will be pulling my hair out. Wait and see.

I will also be moving at the end of this month and I couldn't be happier or more excited. This will be a good move and I will be able to breathe. Daycare has been very discouraging, but hopefully something will pan out, or it looks as though I will be commuting back to Sandy each day. Ugh. Cross your fingers!

Orlando Vacation Rundown

So as you may or may not know, myself, Pie and my mother spent 9 days in Orlando over Halloween and it was fabulous! Sun, fun, friends, good times, no boys- it was amazing! One of the perks with my job is that you get 3 nights free in a timeshare accommodation, so with that and 2 nights at a friends house, we had it made. Here's how the trip went:

Wednesday (10/29): Leave SLC at 9am and arrive in Orlando at 8pm- don't ask. Get the car rental and head to the resort. Check in, drop stuff off at room, go grocery shopping, come back, watch mindless tv, and ate shrimp spaghetti stuff. Go to bed at midnight EST to be up early in the morning for a tour of the property.

Thursday: Get up, call front desk, no one is available to give me a tour, get ready for a day at DisneyWorld. Get to the park at 11am, ride rides, convince Pie to go on Splash Mountain, and she had a blast! Went to Haunted Mansion- it sucked because it was not Nightmare Before Christmas themed like Disneyland, and Pie hated it. Bought some gifts, drank lots of water and got ripped off on lunch. Went back to resort, toured with a former associate, Pie swam, ate dinner at the resort restaurant. Came back, packed, and off to bed.

Friday: It's Halloween! We get up, dress Pie in her costume, load up the car and head to DisneyWorld. For the last 3 years, we have spent Halloween at Disney, and we love it! Pie has been to both Disney parks twice now, and by far Disneyland is our favorite. Arrive at the park, take more pictures, ride more rides, see the Princesses, and head to Clermont to stay with friends and for Pie's first trick or treating in a neighborhood. Get to Clermont, which is 30-45 minutes from Orlando, meet Michelle in person for the first time, and two of her beautiful kids. Michelle works in our Corporate offices and over the last year, we have become good friends, and she offered her house to us while we were there. It was great to spend time with her, and she is an amazing hostess! I took her daughter Heather and Pie trick or treating, and it was so much fun! I have never seen so many kids and their parents out and all dressed up- it was awesome! Go to bed late, up early next morning to meet with another friend Patty from Corporate, and go to Gatorland.

Saturday: Head to Gatorland in Orlando for the day to hang out with Patty. I haven't seen Patty since the last time we were in Orlando 2 years ago, and she immediately recognized Pie from all the pictures I've sent. I was in heaven! I absolutely love gators, and we spent a few hours there, and Patty was wonderful to treat us to everything! We then at at Logan's Steak House, which had the best rolls! Carbs are my favorite! We then departed for the day and headed back to Clermont. Hung out with Michelle, heard crazy stories about her husband's job, good conversations, and packed. She has a 5 month old son Dylan who is the best baby in the world! So much better then my niece and I was eating him up!

Sunday: Said goodbye to Michelle, Heather and Dylan and headed off to Epcot. I haven't been to Epcot in 12 years, so I was really excited to see everything. We rode rides, had a little something to eat or snack at each of the countries, and this is where Jen spent the most of her money. I got a cool duck white out thingy, penguin paper clips, GREY GOOSE vodka (my favorite), soared above California and dodged a rainstorm. It was late, our feet were killing us and so we left and headed to another resort- thankfully close to the parks- like 5 min away close. Arrive at resort, soak feet, watch some tv, check email, eat and bed!

Monday: Our first day off and we spent it at the pool next door. It was fabulous! Had lunch at the pavilion, walked back to our room and found a bottle of wine on the table. It was from antoher friend Calvin at Corporate and his wife Ami, whom I'd be touring the resort with in the morning. I have yet to open it up, but it looks quite tasty! Watched One Tree Hill, had dinner (cereal) and went to bed.

Tuesday: Ahhh.... another day off! This is awesome! I get up, and meet Ami in the lobby and we tour the three resort in an hour. She is really nice and I thank her and Calvin for the wine. Go back to the room, get Pie ready and head to Corporate to meet everyone and have lunch with Michelle and Patty. Oh Corporate people are so much different in person then what you think they are over the phone. I've talked to a lot of these people for over a year now, and it was good to finally meet them in person. They also love me and I felt like a celebrity when I walked in and they were all standing waiting for me. Had lunch and went shopping with Michelle and Dylan for a few hours. Michelle bought Pie some Christmas pancake molds that are soooo freaking cute! Michelle left us, and soon after we did too. But not until after we went to M & M's World. Go home, pack and went to the grocery store for who knows what- all I remember is buying flip flops for Pie, and watching the election results.

Wednesday: Get up and pack the car, head to Animal Kingdom. We go first thing in the morning and our first ride is the Safari- a must do! Utah needs to do something like Animal Kingdom instead of our lame zoo. It was so amazing to see animals running wild and not caged up, various birds, anteaters, fish, great rides and very informative. This is one of my favorite places- it is a really great addition to the Disney park family. After there we head to our final resort for the next two nights. We check in, get to the room and read their activities for the night. Ahhh.... kids night out in a couple hours you say? For $25 you drop your kids off and they get fed, play games, make t-shirts, do whatever else and it for 3 and a half hours. Sold! So Pie went and did that and absolutely had a blast! When I picked her up she asked if she could do it again tomorrow. She told me everything she did and was so excited about it all- it was great to hear the excitement in her voice and hear about all the friends she made.

Thursday: Toured the property in 20 minutes and by far this is my favorite resort in Orlando. There was nothing on the agenda for today, so we head back to DisneyWorld for one last go around. We hit all the rides we didn't go on the first 2 days, and hit our favorite ones one last time. Splash Mountain is now Pie's favorite ride. The resort was decorated with some Christmas items, but not many. Very different from a few days ago when everything was Halloween and fall colors. We rode the Teacups enough to have a different color each time. Those are Pie's favorite too. Head back to pack to come home. Not excited about the 4 hour layover in JFK.....

Friday: I am sad that we are leaving but glad that we had such a great time, and got to spend so much time with friends and family before I start my new job. Get to JFK, eat, drink, and surf the internet for hours while Pie plays in an empty gate section and Nana naps. Board plane and get home at midnight.

For pictures, head to my facebook page or I can send you a link.

Anxiously Waiting

So I leave for a week and a half of vacation in 6 hours and I'm still awake! It's 1:15am here in the great Salt Lake, and I just got done watching Chuck with my brother and I'm 98% done packing. I made Pie cry the other day and it made me laugh. Call me mean, I call it lovingly teasing. We are going to Orlando for the next 10 days, and this past weekend they had some bad rain. Well my mother and I were talking about it, and I told Pie that DisneyWorld had been washed away and she started crying. I asked her why she was crying, and she said she wanted to see Mickey Mouse and ride the rides and was sad it was no longer there. I laughed and told her I was kidding and she proceeded to cry for another few minutes. Yes, I'm going to hell.

Pie finished her fall soccer season, and her team is amazing! Every girl has vastly improved and each one of them made at least 6 goals through out the season- at least one per person per game. Considering they only made 2 goals last season, this is a huge success.

So since Grandpa died a few months ago, Grandma has been doing quite well, but over the last 2 weeks she has had a turn for the worse. She is now back in the hospital and underwent some tests yesterday to see what is wrong. They did some testing today and found some questionable things, so today (Wednesday) they will run more tests to determine if she has pancreatic cancer or intestinal blockage which can be fixed over a few surgeries. My Grandma is 90 years old and she is a trooper. This is the first major illness she has ever had, and I pray that she has not given up. Lord knows our family can't afford to have her pass- especially now. Or ever for that matter. Death sucks.

Well, off to bed for some much needed rest before I embark on an all day adventure of flying cross country. I know you are jealous!

The Car Gods Hate Me

So since I got promoted, I decided I needed a new car that will get me up and down Parley's Canyon every day, especially since winter is coming. After months of searching, I decided on a 2009 red Toyota Camry (these pics were taken off the Internet because I didn't buy my car at Carmax). They have the smoothest ride- it's amazing! This is the biggest pimp ride (well for me anyway) and I can't wait to drive it. It has a sunroof, black interior, blue tooth capability, ipod adapter, cruise control, 6 disc cd changer- it's freaking amazing! It won't be built until the 20th of this month, so I should get it before I go to Florida or it will get here while I'm gone. I sold my car, so I am borrowing other family members cars, and oh wow I think I am being punished for buying a new car. I drove my dad's car on Saturday night to the bar, and when I came home I couldn't get the key out of the ignition. So then Monday I take Pie to school in dad's car, and it wouldn't start again for me to go to work. I had to wait for my dad to come get me, take him back home and take moms car to work. Then on Tuesday, I take my moms car, drop Pie off at school, come home and on the way up the hill, her car won't accelerate and dies, and I conveniently left my cell phone at home. Geez! What the hell?! So I walk 4-5 blocks uphill home and I am quite frustrated and pissed off. Apparently mom's gas gauge is off by a quarter of a tank and it ran out of gas. Thanks so much. At least it wasn't something major like Brandon's car.

For my new job I will be based out of the resort on Main Street in Park city, which should come in handy during Sundance and my attempts to kidnap Jeremy Piven. Oh my crazy fantasies. It should be fun though- I've never experienced Sundance so I'm sure I'll be in for a big surprise come 3 months....

Florida is in 3 weeks and oh do I ever need a break! I seriously can not wait to get out of here- mentally, physically and emotionally. We have DisneyWorld, Animal Kingdom, Epcot, MGM, Gatorland, free places to stay, and friends to look forward too. Oh fun times!

So I went shopping lst week and looked for clothes for my new job since it is business attire 5 days a week. Well, many hundreds of dollars later, I had a new wardrobe, and I went down a size! I haven't been this size since before I had Pie! I nearly cried I was so happy and excited. It finally feels like stuff is coming together in all aspects of my life and I couldn't be more grateful, excited, happy and scared all at once.

I have arrived!

Happy Birthday!

It's my birthday today and I can honestly say this will has been the best. Granted it's still early and anything can happen, but at this very moment, I am excited.

It all started yesterday with a phone call from a 407 area code (Orlando). Why is this so special? Well as you know I applied for a new job months ago, and our Corporate offices are in Orlando. I got the call on my cell at 12:31pm, and a woman on the other end proceeded to introduce herself and why she was calling. I immediately went into my manager's office so the other pod folk couldn't eavesdrop, however my manager was sitting at her desk so that was kinda interesting. The woman proceeded to tell me about the position I applied for, and some other things and I could feel the turn down coming (like it had for so many other positions I applied for) and she said "I would like to extend you the offer for the position" and I nearly died. She kept talking about the pay, when to start, paperwork procedures, etc., and she paused and asked if this is still something I would be interested in. I had started crying and told her absolutely and she said it was good cause she got scared since I hadn't said anything. I apologized for crying, and she told me I was sweet. At the end of the call she said the most amazing thing to me and I will never forget it. She said "a lot of people applied for this position, so for you to beat them out speaks volumes about you, your skills, and your determination." Wow. How awesome is that to have someone on a Corporate level say that to you, and be given this great opportunity to grow and advance in the company, when I was trying so hard to grow in the center and was unable to do so. This position will open a lot of doors and take me places and I am more then excited. I am ready to start a new chapter in my life. I have a new start, a new outlook on everything, I am ready to move on. I will miss the people that have been the most honest with me, the people that were there no matter what happened, and cared about me as the person I really am, not the one they thought I was.

Then, about a half hour later I get this delivery and the box said it was from proflowers.com. Who in the world would send me flowers? The only other person I've ever gotten flowers from were my dad on my 16th birthday. Oh and when I had Pie, but that doesn't count- people are obligated to do that. So I open the box and there is- the most beautiful orchid. I still have no idea who it's from, so I open the card, read it and start laughing. It came from my three most wonderful friends in the pod. I will truly miss them and hope we stay in touch- considering they will have to talk to me, especially coming up during the busy season.

Then I got up this morning and Pie came in my room and wished me a Happy Birthday about 3 times. She is too good to me. Then we ate my favorite cereal, Count Chocula. You can only get it during this time of year, but I did find it in the off season at WalMart but that's another story. Anyway, Pie's got a soccer game today, so we are off to do that, then maybe take a trip up the mountain to show her where mommy will be working. Fun times!

Circus Fun

So a while back I told my mom I was taking Pie to the circus. Well, she felt bad that she was not invited, then it was going to be the three of us. Well since tickets were so cheap, the whole family was invited and tickets were purchased. Wow. We went opening night and tickets for any seat were $10.00 and we got front row- as we do anything kid related.

With mom having her surgery, she was unable to go, which meant dad was not going, which meant two open seats. We were able to get the neighbor kid, Bronson to go since he has never been and wanted to go, and Pie's friend Alee, who was also a circus virgin. Apparently we all were. So, it was myself, Pie, Alee, Bronson, my sister Michelle and my brother Steve. This night was going to end one of two ways: wonderful or a complete disaster.

We boarded Trax and proceeded to head down to the arena and my brother asked who had hit me. Thanks. He was the second person that day to ask. You see, I never wear make up because I don't need it, and I'm an habitual eye rubber. I had an urge to buy some eye shadow, so I put that on and a tiiiiiiiiny bit of mascara. As you can assume, I rubbed my eyes and mascara dust went places it should never go.

We get to the arena and after a security check point incident, we got inside and the girls wanted their picture taken. $30 later we were off to spend more money. Note to everyone: concessions are expensive and over priced, and kids don't care the next day about their $15 sno cone glass that probably spilled all over the floor.

Anyway, the circus was amazing! A little long (2 and a half hours) but it was well worth it. It kept every one's attention and since we were so close, the circus master and his main clown were always waving to us and came to talk to the girls. P.S- children should not have cotton candy after 8pm. We arrived home at 10:30pm which was way past my bedtime- especially on a school night. Everyone had an awesome time and the kids absolutely loved it!

A sucessful surgery

Mom had her lump removed today and it was a complete success! Thank you to everyone who sent well wishes, prayers and thoughts her direction. The doctors were able to take about 2 inches out as well as the lymph node and found no cancer in it, so there is a possibility that she won't need radiation. Keep your fingers crossed!

I should also be hearing back about the job I applied for up in Park City, so I will let you all know as soon as I hear. Send me good mojo for that too!

I'm glad the week is over- are you?

So this past week was nothing but a big pain and extremely frustrating with lots of emotions. Lets start at the beginning...

Last week my mom found out she has breast cancer (which I still haven't grasped- that along with my grandpa's death) and on the 22nd of this month she will have surgery and then 6 weeks of radiation. Then I was asked by someone to give them their money back, and I fought with that- I am still fighting with the decision I made, then to top it all off, I had a job interview yesterday. The last time I was this stressed out was 8 months ago and it sucked.

Also this past week, some smart ass kid at school told Pie that her mom was not pretty like his mom was. WTF? First it was her thighs now this? She is 4 years old- kids shouldn't have to worry about crap like this, and what in the hell are his parents teaching him that makes him think it's ok to focus on people's looks? Thank god my child isn't shallow at 4.

Sunday the 7th, we went to the State Fair and we were there forever! 5 hours at the fair should be illegal. Anyway, I ended up buying an English Spot bunny for Pie (I have been looking at getting her a pet for some time now, and bunnies are pretty easy to maintain). We brought the bunny home Thursday night and it has been a big hit and Pie loves it! Let's just hope if/when we move for my job that we can find a place that will allow pets.

So today is Saturday, I went to bed at 6:30 last night and slept until 8am (yes I was that tired) and now we get to get ready for Pie's soccer game in 45 min. Oh fun times!

So much stuff.....

Let's try and cram the last couple weeks into one blog. Ready, set, go!

I had my second treatment of my tattoo removal almost a month ago, and my ankle changes every day. Hence the above picture. I've got about another year of this before they are both gone, which won't be so bad since now until April will be hectic and fly by.

Last weekend I went to Vegas with some friends. What started as a low key, small thing ended up a huge disastrous mess, and a friendship is in jeopardy. I have tried to mend said friendship, but was told to wait. It's been 3 days now since we've spoken and I'm starting to wonder how many more I will have to wait before someone gives up and that someone will be me. Apparently I think the friendship is worth saving, but I don't know if the other person thinks the same. Time will tell and we will see.

I have started communication with a long lost friend that I have missed having in my life for some time now. To have an open communication/dialogue was refreshing and therapeutic.

I have come to realize people are interesting, complicated things that like to twist information to their benefit and satisfaction. I especially love when people claim to be your friends, yet say the most harsh things about you "only cause they are your friends." Yeah right, sure you are. Don't claim to know things about me or why I do things I do if you only have knowledge of what I do or have done because I tell you, and not because you have known me so long you know what I am thinking at any given moment. I have become tired of trying to explain myself to people when issues arise. I don't ask for an explanation from you, don't ask one of me. I don't care- you are much more messed up then I am, and I'm tired of hearing about your material issues you think are far more superior and stop thinking you are right all the time. You obviously have never heard of the word compromise.

Boy Shopping Shennanigans

Ok, so Brandon asked Candice and I to go shopping with him to pick out a pair of pants. Ok, this will be fun- my two favorite people doing what people do- shop, hang out, whatever. Well, let me tell you- we got much more then what we bargained for.

Our adventure started at 4:30pm yesterday. The plan was to go to Nordstrom Rack, buy B pants and end the night by 8pm. On our way to N.R, B states that when he goes shopping at the second hand stores, he gives himself a 30 minute window, and if he hasn't found something in that time- he leaves (red flag #1). Oh my hell this explains a lot! We arrive at the Rack and proceed to find pants for B. However, he does not know his size. Wow (red flag #2). We give him 5-6 pairs of jeans and we inquire about the pants he has on. He states they are too big and demonstrates by unbuckling his belt buckle, shaking his hips, which then forces the pants to fall to the floor in rapid time (red flag #3). Oh the laughing that followed...... We left the Rack at about 6pm- Candice and I got some shirts and B left empty handed (red flag #4). B is ornery and demands we feed him before heading out to the wort place on Earth, the mall. You see, B is not a fan of corporate America, yet we work for corporate America, and the last time he stepped foot in a mall was 2003 (red flag #5).

We are off to the mall and B announces that he can't wait to eat Edo, which is not what I heard him say. You see, I hear what I want to hear cause it is much more amusing then the real thing. I thought he said, "you girls gonna get some Guido?" I respond with "you are the only Guido we need" which is then met with laughter. We arrive at what could be called a mall (Fashion Place) and proceed to the food court so B can get his grub on. He ate the Edo and was on cloud nine. Candice and B head to the regular Gap and I head in the other direction for some time alone. You see, B can be very overwhelming, much like a child can be overwhelming. After 30 minutes, a shoe and shirt purchase, I head to the Gap where Candice is pulling her hair out and B has a confused look on his face. Wow- apparently he has tried on 5 pairs of pants and needs to try them all on again for my opinion. I feel so important. Candice and I find a display table to sit on and wait for the show to begin. Out walks B in this HUGE green shirt and horrendous pant. I tell him the pants look horrendous and then ask if he is pregnant with that shirt. He then takes off his shirt, twirls it around his hand, turns around and walks away (hence the picture). This has made our day! Then, as if a sign from God, in walks Sarah and Jordan's gay Dan to the rescue! Dan was on a mission to find himself a shirt for a party, and B noticed his pants since he liked the color and asked where he got them. Dan told him American Eagle, and we were off! We made a detour to Buckle where B was not only unimpressed with their pants, but also with the stitching of the pants. Apparently pants speak and those said 'I'm flashy.'

American Eagle. How can you explain such a glorious sight to two girls and a boy in search for pants since 4:30pm..... it was now 7:45 or 8 o'clock and we were getting desperate and anxious. How hard is it for a guy who has gotten the approval 45 pants ago, still be in search of pants? We had selected 5 pants, and in record time they were narrowed to 4, then to two. Candice and I decided to sit on the couches in the store and wait while B pays for his purchases. I make a call home, and 10 minutes later, B has yet to pay for his damn pants! He is over looking at pants, then sunglasses! What in the hell?! Pay for your damn pants, it's 8:30 and lets get the hell out of here. Thank goodness there was cologne provided for Candice and I to smell. We picked one out for B but he declined and went with glasses and two pair of pants. We finally head back to the car, and B says Candice's car smells like a boys locker room. Oh how I would have paid to be in a locker room at that moment.

Moral of the story, let B go shopping where he normally goes, and if you do take him out shopping, please drink heavily before hand. I'm sure the experience would have been much more pleasant for all girls involved.

Miscellanious Ramblings

I had my second round of laser tattoo removal on Friday and oh my goodness it hurt like hell. I know they crank up the wattage each time, but as you can see from the picture, it looked like cute little blood spots had been broken. I iced it for 2 days and I now have the blisters back in the same places. Fun times I tell you! Immediately after it was done you could see hollow spots which makes you feel like the mass amount of money you are spending to get it taken off is worth it. I bought a five pack session and have 3 more to go, so we'll see how many more I'll need after that. Hopefully it's only another five. The top picture is of my other tattoo I am having removed- that's what it looked like immediately following the application, however, it looks nothing like that now. Since it was a homemade tattoo, it morphed into something that looks like it was on steroids.

I absolutely loved The Lost Boys, however, I would like my hour and a half back after watching the sequel. I should have known that something going straight to DVD was not going to have the best acting and completely suck. But I wanted it to be good, I was pulling for greatness but it never came. Corey Feldman's performance also sucked- he had this weird scratchy low voice thing going on that was completely ridiculous. They defiantly should have only done the first one. Damn sequels.

I also have been going back to the gym and decided to become a pescetarian. Last week I lost 4 pounds. I am amazing. I am running at least two miles each day, working up to 10 in the next week. Back to this pescetarian thing... It's a form of vegetarianism except you are able to eat fish. Not too shabby if you ask me. So no dairy, red meat, chicken, sugar, limited carbs, soda- just a lot of salmon, sushi, veggies and water. Oh let the games begin! I have a goals and I would like to reach them, I just need to make more of an effort. So wish me luck, I'm into it 3 days now and so far so good. Just another 200 days or more until my final goal will be reached.

The End Has Come

On July 30th 2003, my grandpa was golfing in the hot afternoon and had a stroke. This afternoon exactly 5 years later, my grandfather died. He spent his last days at CareSource hospice and the people there were truly amazing! I have mixed emotions that I have to keep in check so that I don't offend people. My grandpa turned 94 last Thursday and was one of the most wonderful people in the world. He lived such a full adventurous life, and wasn't afraid of anything. He and my grandma were married for 68 years. He raised 5 wonderful children, and one of them is my mother. One of the things I will always be grateful for is him giving me a mother who loves me unconditionally, no matter what happens, the way she was strong during the tough times, and her wonderful ability to not judge others. I have the best family no matter how crazy, ridiculous, sincere, self absorbed, religious, non religious, if we've made mistakes or follow the rules, everyone is loved the same and you know it. Especially with my crazy life, my grandpa and grandma always told me I was wonderful, supported and most of all loved.

Grandpa was a quiet man and very respected. Anytime you went for a visit, he always tried feeding you and made sure you didn't leave home hungry. He was an avid fisherman, golfer, and loved spending time with his family.

It has been emotional over the last few weeks, and it has brought the family closer then before, and shown us all how strong we really are. Grandpa wouldn't want people making a fuss over him- he would want us to be strong and happy like he was and that is what will happen.

I will also be grateful for my daughter having the chance to know him, even if it was for a short time. She asked me that once grandpa is done visiting with Jesus, if he will come back to visit us. Oh how I love kids.

So today and every day forward, don't forget to tell the people around you that you love them. Life is too short. I love you all.

My Greatest Fear

I don't know about you, but I love the shower. I have epiphany's and the most amazing revelations- I pretty much do my best thinking in the shower and that is what brings me to the title of this entry. My greatest fear.

People are afraid of many things- other people, spiders, water, insects, flying, driving, anything and everything is a possible fear to someone. I found out what my fear is today. I am afraid of someone I love dying and I won't be there to say goodbye.

Five years ago my grandpa had a stroke out golfing and it has changed his life little by little over the years. He was an extremely active man. He would golf every day (weather permitting) and got a hole in one when he was 90. Since the stroke, he has lost the ability to speak the words he wants in the time he was used to- they never seem to make it from his brain to his mouth as fast as it was before the stroke, and this has become very frustrating to him. He went from driving a car, to needing a walker and being very tired. Well, Tuesday everything came to a dramatic turn for the worse. He has fallen twice since then and each day his condition gets worse and worse. He is to the point of needing to be hand fed and sleeps so sound that it takes 5 minutes of trying to vigorusly wake him up before he does. My brother went over there last night and grandpa told him that his days were numbered. He knows he is going to die soon and it's tough to hear him say that, after all he is 94. All I can think about is him dying before I ever got to see him to say good bye and that is the one thing I am afraid of. As I stood in the shower contemplating this, I cried like I have never cried before. That's all I did this morning. The only thing that made me smile is when my wonderfly beautiful daugher said "mom, don't cry- I know something that will make you happy." She then proceeded to sing me a song she learned in school that she had sung to me last night. She was right- it did make me happy.

I don't think he will die by this weekend, but possibly before the year is over. The last time someone died in my family was 26 years ago when I was 2, so I don't remember anything. I also had a friend commit suicide 5 years ago, and even though I told him I would see him later and gave him a hug, I had no idea that would be the last time I saw him, and a part of me feels like I never got to say goodbye.

My mom and uncle are taking him to the hospital today to have tests run to see what exactly is going on. So please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers. I love you all.


Update: the symptoms he has may be a result of another stroke, and some possible other things, so they are running blood work, cat scans and other stuff to see what is causing everything.

Burnin Ring of Fire

So yesterday marked a new day and a new adventure in my life. I have decided to get a couple tattoo's removed (insert shock and awe here). Let me tell you it is not the most pleasant, or cheapest thing in the world. What cost me $50 to get on is now costing thousands to get rid of. Why would I do this you ask? Well friends, it's time to move on and see what this big world has in store for me, and having a tattoo so visible may prohibit that growth and that's not something I want to have happen. The other one I am getting removed is on my ankle and with it's removal, I am removing all the emotions and feelings that it represents. Yes, I could get it covered up, but I don't know what I want over it. Both tattoo's represent so much that was going on in my life 6 years ago during a time when I thought I knew what I wanted and where my life was going, and thinking I was proving myself to people, when in actuality I had lost myself and didn't know that there was so much more in store for me and what I thought was my whole world and what I identified with was nothing merely more then a smoke screen and jumping off point for someone. I have done some soul searching and contemplating and I realized that I have never been in love. I am 27 and have never truly been in love..... sad to some, but I am ok with it. I have had many relationships, and dated a lot of different people searching for love, never found it, but sure found myself and became so much stronger.

Anywho, back to the process of tattoo removal. It hurts like no one's business! Even with the topical numbing cream, it still hurts and wow- pretty painful. It has now been 24 hours, and with the sun hitting the spots of the tattoos, it feels like things are on fire! So you sit with this cream on the location for 30 min so it has time to numb, then you are taken to a room to get the job done. You put on these glasses, sit or lay on the table, and let the games begin! My ankle hurt so much worse then my arm, but I can already tell a difference. Since the one on my ankle is a black, homemade tattoo, it will come out faster and easier, hopefully in 4-5 sessions. My arm however will take 8-15. So they laser the area and it starts to bubble and feels like a constant pinch. The whole process takes about 5 min. then you get iced, go home and come back in 6 weeks for another session. We're looking at a year long process people- get ready for the ride!

So far reaction has been positive. People are respectful and see what this means to me and not telling me 'well, I told you so' and other crap. This was my decision and I'm excited. I don't look at this and regret it, but I'm not the same person that I was when I got them on. All my others will stay intact, and maybe more will come, but at this point, I am content. This is a pic of what it looked like 5 min after the first burning. Pretty gnarly huh?

Lost beds, mass confusion and tears

I don't know where my bed it- it's now 12:13am and I have yet to find it, and I didn't find it until after 3am yesterday. I know Aush found it cause she refuses to find hers but manages to find her way to mine.

Let's talk about self control. Well, I have none and it's a shame. It's almost been a year & I have now been thrown back into thoughts of inadequacy and insecurity. I came across something I would have never imagined and it sent me into a state of confusion. Whisky Tango Foxtrot what is going on? What kind of a mother am I? What am I supposed to think or make of all this? I didn't even have the nerve to ask- I didn't think it was my place, or is it? Would it come off the wrong way? The biggest question going through my head was why do I care? I don't care what people think of or about me, but for some reason he's different. My wall is made of concrete- emotions are rarely, if ever revealed. So with all this, I cried. Yes, can you believe it? Crazy I know....

On a lighter note, I have a phone interview this week for a job far, far away. Very remote and I am excited to take this new journey and if I get it, awesome- if not, no big deal. I am at a place in my life where you roll with the punches and take what is given to you. Things happen for a reason- I am a big believer- and life is to short to be scared about the future. Plan ahead and live for every day.

Let the melting begin.....

Monday I leave to Phoenix for a week with Candice, Brandon, Junior and some other people and with the high at 100 degrees and the low 72, we are all in for some great times!


My cousin lives down there, so hopefully I'll get to spend some time with her- since we are only busy for about 2 hours each day with work stuff. Thank goodness for lazy rivers! That is pretty much where we will be spending all of our time and trying to initiate some shenanigans.


Take a glimpse of where I'll be......

My Soccer Champ!

Today was Ausha's last soccer game of the Spring 2008 season. Her team- the Pink Princesses were made up of 4 and 5 year olds that have never participated in organized sports before, and it was pretty interesting as the weeks went on. They pretty much got slaughtered every game, and mid way through the season, a girl on the team named Sarah made their first goal ever. Then today, on the last play of the game, my amazing daughter scored the second goal of the season for her team! It was the most amazing thing ever- she had no idea why we were so excited and why everyone was telling her she was awesome. Thank goodness I have it on film!

Every single girl on her team has improved, and they were so excited every week to go to their practices and games, even though they lost all their games, they were still winners. They had no idea they lost, they were there to have fun and get treats.

Needless to say, we will defiantly be participating in the Fall season coming up in August.

Yikes!

I wonder if anyone still reads this thing.....
Anywho, it has been almost 3 months since my last confession, I mean post, so here it goes.

January and February pretty much sucked and I didn't go to the gym. March was a little better since Easter came early this year and I got to go down to St. George for some much needed R&R. My daughter, mother, my cousin (who is more like an uncle) and his family joined us for a few days and it was a blast! April flew by and here we are in May.... yay! Aush is in soccer and loving every minute of it- she is on the pink team and enjoying her new friends and being more social. She had a talk in primary two weeks ago so I went to go see her and no the church didn't explode and she did a phenomenal job. Thank goodness it was only like a 3 minute talk and she memorized it and had everyone blown away. Oh the confidence she has- I envy her.

My sister had her spawn on April 4th and let me tell you that has been one hell of an emotional roller coaster. I have learned that I love my situation and would never trade places with anyone ever. I have also learned that immaturity is ridiculous and the irritant of many things lately.
Aush had some cavities filled up at Primary's so they could put her fully under with sedation. That was an exciting day. My cute little girl was high as a kite and no matter how much I tried to keep up my 'tough' image, I found myself all alone in the waiting room crying like a baby, hoping she was going to be alright when I certainly knew that she was in safe hands. I hate to cry. I feel ridiculous and helpless and that I can't handle things. So I bottle them up inside and wait for the explosion. Let me tell you how much fun that is.

It is almost 11pm and my kid is still up watching the Waterhorse- ugh. Oh well, soccer isn't until noon tomorrow. Yay for sleeping in! This has been a week of long nights and not enough sleep. I found a game and I have become a master at it. It's called the Burger Shop and I have missed out on some good hours of sleep playing said game trying to beat it (which I did) and now I have turned my family into Burger loving people!

Oooh- I almost forgot. I got this cool IUD thing a couple weeks ago and let me tell you how much I love it. I got the copper one which is good for 10 years meaning no impregnating Jen for a long, long time! I could not be happier. This is the coolest thing since sliced bread. The best part is, if I want to take it out earlier I can, but no sperm will be making their way to my eggs!

I leave for Phoenix in a month and I can't wait! Get me to some sunshine and a fantastic rub down ASAP! Oh the shenanigans that will transpire..... stay tuned.

New Chapter

So, I have finally moved out of the residence that I was in for a year and a half and into a new place. I can not be more excited about it and I am ready for a new adventure.

Things will hopefully get much better here in the next few weeks. We will see.....

I have some trips planned out for the year that I am excited about- St. George, Orlando, Tahoe and possibly Phoenix. I can't get enough traveling done- it is so fun to see new places and create new experiences with my daughter. Things at work are looking better (see pic above) I get to deal with those about twice a week and they definately make our day brighter!

I am still loosing weight and loving my trainer mroe then ever- his support is amazing and we have a great time- working out is so much more fun since he is there. I will start my cleanse on Tuesday (I can only imagine what crap has been stored in my body for so many years) and I am excited about that. It's about time I do stuff for me and not for everyone else.

Oh I have so many things I need/should write about but it's all too overwhelming right now. Maybe later....

Oh Life....

This picture makes me happy and I really need to keep this up more often- too much time passes and it's exhausting trying to keep up and fill everything in so here we go.

I have decided to cut people out of my life. These are people that I have known for many many years, and I am pretty much done with all the drama and bull shit. I'm not perfect either, but at least I know what I want and where I want to be in life. I have also been hurt by people that I have known for years and so over the last couple months, friendships have ended. Am I sad? Not really, more disappointed then anything and through everything I have been through, my family has been my my side encouraging me every step of the way. I also have friends at work that have been very helpful whether it be lending an ear for me to vent, giving me advice, supporting me and helping whenever needed.

I am also in this weird funk trying to deal with and sort through a million emotions that are racing through me right now. Last night I cried myself to sleep thinking about how emotionless I am and I am not feeling anything- pure numbness and how I need something positive in my life right now.

Thank goodness for Jared, Candice, my mom & family, various people at work, for their love and support cause right now I want to run far away and forget everything. I am so far off track it will be excruciating to get back on track and get focused again. I am busting my ass and getting shit on every where I turn by everyone.

Until next time....