I know I have one, but here are the days of truly searching.
Turning 30 has undoubtedly thrown me for a loop. I am now breaking out the past and wondering where I went wrong. Or what have I done in a past life to deserve this. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and feel truly blessed and grateful for everything I have been through and experienced, because I wouldn't be the person I am today without them. I'm just frustrated with how much pressure there is on people to be a certain way, or to obtain things or be something, or established by the time they hit 30.
Maybe it was the way I was raised. I don't know. I look at everyone I grew up with and they are all married, have a career, mortgage, kids, etc. and I feel as though I have missed the 'grown up' boat. But then I remember that I was 'married' for like 5minutes, have the kid, the good job without having to go to college, a great place to live, and the freedom to do whatever I want, when I want. So in a way I've been there, done that, and I have to remember that what's good for the goose isn't good for the gander, not everyone wants the same things, and that deep down, I love my life. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I just wish I had someone to share it with other then my child.
People may not agree or approve with what I do, or how I live my life. There is nothing anyone can do to hurt me that hasn't already been done. I'm just tired of all the bullshit, games and ridiculousness. It's exhausting.
Maybe it's time to run away for a minute. Good thing I know where I'm going for this one, and it's soon.
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1 comment:
Hang in there lovely lady. To those that judge you, I'm sure they're so perfect themselves...right..........I think you're doing a splendid job in this thing called life and it doesn't come with an owners manual. I think one day you'll have someone to spend it with-someone totally meant for you. And here's the thing-maybe it is that THEY aren't ready for YOU yet. You're ready, you're willing, but maybe they still have something they're going through in order to be your Mr. Wonderful. Just a thought. :)
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